Since I got my healthcare card in the mail today (HALLELUJAH) I thought I’d celebrate by making a disgusting amount of Quinoa and posting a passage from my old blog. It feels like yesterday but scarily enough this was written two summers ago while I was interning. I wish I could say I’ve grown more mature since then but that would be a blatant lie.
Posted on Tuesday August 3, 2010
After two days of lounging about my apartment living the dream (heavily medicating myself with Nyquil and watching Chappelles Show) I decided that my health and breathing in general were overrated and I left air conditioning.
I rarely get sick, but when I do it’s with a cluster fuck of symptoms. My childhood asthma comes back, I can’t really walk, and my delusions of grandeur become that much more enigmatic. I’m also not very coherent — but when I heard there was a summer clearance sale at Loehman’s my Jewdar told me to get the fuck out of bed.
There isn’t much to say about my shopping expenditure except that it was successful…so successful in fact the bag ripped as I was exiting the building. I don’t know if it was the lack of caffeine, food, or my cold medicine paired with the searing heat, but within seconds the fact that I had to clutch a ripped bag the entire walk home paled in comparison to the street vendor in front of me selling corn. I was so excited I bought seven ears of it.
At this point I was hacking and coughing on the Upper West side, clearly dehydrated, probably delirious and clutching multiple bags full of shoes and corn.
It was in this shining moment of clairvoyance that I realized I should probably go home as to avoid being seen. And that I didn’t own a big enough bowl to boil the corn in.